Maintaining Self-Motivation

It doesn’t matter what our career path looks like -- entrepreneur, part- or full-time job seeker, summer job seeker, sales person trying to grow a territory, individual looking for an internal promotion – disappointments are bound to come our way.  We’ve all heard, “you can’t win them all.”   But give me a break – how many disappointments do we have to endure before the “big win” comes along?  This is a question many have been asking over these past two years of difficult and challenging economic times.  There isn’t a crystal ball to help see what the future  holds.  We just need to continue to nourish ourselves with the faith and inner spirit that “the YES” is just around the corner from all these no’s. But that can be exhausting!

While waiting, here are a few things to do to help you remain strong, positive and hopeful, because without a good attitude and outlook, getting to a yes will be difficult.  You may have seen some of these tips before.  If you did, revisit them.  Perhaps now is a better time for you to incorporate them into your routine than earlier in your career:

1. Surround yourself with positive people.  Avoid friends, family and colleagues who have a negative attitude.  
2. Have one or two very close and trusted friends that you can really share your true feelings with.  We all need an outlet. It’s better to get those feelings out and not be burying them under a facade.  You wouldn’t want them to suddenly appear during an interview.
3. Be kind to yourself and from time-to-time treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t do for yourself.
4. Avoid the news, for all the obvious reasons.   
5. Volunteer – you’ll feel better helping others and it will get your mind off of your job situation for a little while. Who knows, this may open a door to a new career.
6. Exercise – it’s good for you, and it too will help clear your mind and provide you with a short break from the job situation.  This may be the time to explore yoga or tai chi to help manage your stress level
7. Keep a routine – get up and get dressed everyday.  Your job is to make a sale, find a job, whatever – you can’t very well do that in your PJ’s.  
8. Be active building and staying in touch with your network.
9. Take time to meditate or renew your spiritual connection.
10. Get away for a short break – you may not be able to take a week long vacation, but perhaps you could swing a long weekend.  Giving yourself a break will help you recharge your energy.

A few other things you may want to consider, if the disappointments and rejections are mounting:

1. Make sure you ask for constructive and honest feedback after every interview.  If you didn’t get the job, what did the interviewers see as lacking, or not the right fit?  Gathering this information and creating a strategy to do something about it can be very powerful in changing your pattern of outcomes down the road.
2. Illustrate your situation to get a clearer picture of what is happening.  List the jobs you’ve applied for, along with those where you got an interview?  What helped you get to the interview stage?  What did you learn about why you didn’t get that job or sale?  Can you see the outline of a theme or a pattern?  Using the information gleamed from this exercise; make a plan to work on changing the outcome.
3. Have you reconnected with your references to ask if they noticed anything during their conversations with prospective employers/clients that would help you better align your time and energies in a more productive manner?  Perhaps your skills aren’t as strong a match as what they are looking for, or you appear overqualified?   Use their feedback to help you better position yourself on the next interview.
4. Are you “coaching” your references properly?  Yes, I said, “coaching”.  Before any prospective employer talks with your references, contact them to tell them what you learned about the job and explain to them why the job is perfect for you.  Give them a heads up about who they will be hearing from, and request that they specifically talk about certain skills, talents or experiences you have that you think will make the greatest impression on the prospective employer.  Naturally the reference can also talk about whatever else he/she wants to, but from what you have learned about this opportunity, the employer should definitely hear about the special knowledge, skills or abilities you will bring to the position that fits with what you know they are looking for.
5. In those cases when the job seeker already has a job and is trying to move up or on, the question I would ask is a delicate one – “Do you think there is anyway your current boss is sabotaging your opportunity to leave him/her?”   No, it’s not a nice thing to do, but if your work references really like the contributions you are making, they may be very motivated to have you stay.  If you have even the least bit of doubt regarding what your work references are sharing during the reference check, you might look for other credible positions within the organization to provide the reference.
6. As you consider the jobs or sales opportunities you’ve been pursuing, is there anyway you’ve slipped into the “shotgun approach”, shooting at anything that moves, rather than maintaining an approach focused on what you are most passionate about, and qualified for?  If the employer senses a tendency of desperation or an “I’ll take anything now and find what I want later” attitude, the result will most certainly be rejection.  If you find that you have slipped into this mode, especially if your search has been lengthy, take a step back and work with a coach to help you re-articulate a focused strategy and action plan.
7. Our personalities greatly influence our communication style.  Have you had any feedback that your style is too meek, or too aggressive?  Maybe you come off as too much of a know-it-all, or lacking confidence?  As appropriate, reassess your communication style paying particular attention to those pitfalls where your style can come across counterproductive to the style required for the position. If necessary, work with a career coach to assess and improve your interviewing and interpersonal skills.

Losing the sale or the job opportunity can be very disappointing.  Try not to over analyze it.   For whatever reason, it just wasn’t the right one.  Learn what you can from the experience and thank those involved for giving you the opportunity to be considered.  Something else is around the corner, and when it arrives, you need to be ready.  It’s not easy to stay motivated in the face of rejection, but perhaps if you can remember the words of the classic song Pick Yourself Up, (music by Jerome Kern and lyrics by Dorothy Fields), sung in the 1936 movie Swing Time you’ll find some motivation to keep positive.   Focus on these verses:

Nothing's impossible, I have found.
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up, dust myself off,
tart all over again.

Don't lose your confidence if you slip.
Be grateful for a pleasant trip,
And pick yourself up; dust yourself off;
Start all over again.

There is a “YES” around the corner.  Be ready with a healthy, positive attitude.